When I was almost five years old, my first grade teacher used an unusual grading scale for our seatwork. We were given “smiley face” stamps for perfect scores, “ambivalent face” stamps for incomplete work, and “sad face” stamps for failing grades.
I was a very academically gifted child, and while it was easy to compare the smiles I was used to, to the frowns which were undoubtedly poor,
I had never been bothered to understand what the middle stamp meant because I’d never been exposed to it before.
That is, until a parent-teacher conference at an October Open House. Isn’t it funny the things you remember? Open House was one of my favorite times of the year because I understood just how important education was to my parents.
It was my opportunity to show them that their dreams for my future, brimming with the hopes for my unlimited tomorrow, mattered to me too.
I remember how excited and proud I was to show my parents the work I’d done so far in my first year of “real school”, first grade! My parents reviewed the work I’d done so far that semester, and all was well until they came across an assignment that was marked as incomplete. Lets just say that when we got home, they left me with the conviction that to deem something finished that is incomplete is both irresponsible, and unacceptable.
“To deem something finished that is incomplete is both irresponsible, and unacceptable.”
Recently, Colin Kaepernick, the quarterback of the San Francisco 49ers has been the subject of a good deal of criticism surrounding his decision to sit during the national anthem citing his unwillingness to “show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color”. Here's the thing.
I do not know that he is wrong.
I do know that the stars and stripes on our country’s flag are supposed to be symbols of personal and religious liberty for all people, in a country where blatant islamophobia is not just celebrated but can be considered a viable campaign platform, and where the construction of mosques and temples are sources of debate and outrage in many communities, and where many are hoping for Supreme Court Justices to be nominated that would reverse historic rulings on newly-recognized freedoms like marriage equality.
I know that I was taught the flag has evolved with our country to be a symbol of liberty and justice for all US citizens, not just white men with property in a country which is wrestling with systematic racial and socioeconomic inequality, disproportionate mortality rates of law enforcement officials’ interactions with black citizens, and the system’s repeated failure to hold those officials accountable for their actions.
I know the dissonance of a first-hand lived experience that doesn’t reflect the inalienable natural rights every American is entitled to — life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, and so I, along with millions across our country continue to call on our governments to do better, to fulfill their social contracts, to create a better country for us all.
Here’s what I don’t understand. I am left confused by a trend towards condescending and mean-spirited rhetoric directed at people refusing to be satisfied with anything less than a nation that in the words of Dr. King, “…will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed.”
Why is it that brown people’s criticism of the United States’ failure to protect their constitutional rights today is often framed as unpatriotic and met with vitriol or paternalistic scolding by self-proclaimed patriots when the very notion of that criticism is idealistically American?
Sometimes I wonder if all the people who are angry with the dissatisfaction of people like Colin Kaepernick, and #BLM protestors like myself have forgotten that in the words of John Adams, “the very foundation of American independence” was laid at the Boston Massacre and bathed in the blood of people of color at the hands of peacekeeping officers — an event where after the first patriots threw objects in protest at British authorities, a crowd of British colonists were fired upon, killing three people on the scene, the first being a black man and one of the wounded being just a boy. Race has always been a trigger for law enforcement brutality.
The needless violence of this isolated incident towards a handful of civilians was shocking and infuriating enough to incite a revolution.
And how many of our black unarmed men, women, and children have died at the hands of law enforcement again? Last year the number was north of 100. This year we are on track to exceed that. Just let that settle for a minute.
I feel like this is a perspective-shift moment for our nation, and these incidents have created space for an Open House of sorts where all can be made aware and where many who've unbeknownst to themselves lived with privilege disguised as equality have an opportunity to understand a different experience.
This is the moment when fellow Americans who may have never been required to understand what the "middle stamp" of an immoral and incomplete justice means, have an opportunity to demand better — an opportunity to show their fellow citizens that their right to a future, their lives and livelihoods matter to them too.
The truth is, I love my country, much like my parents loved me in the classroom on that fall day in 1997. And because I love my country and truly believe in what we can become,
Because I dream of a nation where black lives matter, where our actions are judged in a courtroom by our character rather than in a street by an officer acting as judge, jury, and executioner,
Because I hope for a day when Americans don’t have to fight to build Buddhist temples or Islamic mosques in their own communities
Because I truly believe the United States can become a nation where all are treated equally by our government institutions, I am sorely unwilling to condemn those like him who refuse to lower their expectations to an incomplete American ideal.
Almost twenty years later, I’d say my parents are pretty proud of the life I’m making for myself. I’m excited to one day inhabit an America I can be proud of again.
Hopefully Colin will be able to say so too.