Jesus hung out with outcasts and sinners because they weren't pretending to be anything other than who they were. He had the courage to be himself, consistently in every interaction - whether it was a leper or a temple leader, a fisherman or a rich young ruler. He was true to who he was - always and everywhere, and that's what he calls us to do. To follow Jesus means that we've got to be real. Jesus didn't only command us to love God, one another, and ourselves. He showed us how: by being himself, by being real, whether he was accepting the cheers of the palm-waving crowd or later hanging on the cross, questioning God and forgiving those who jeered him. His message stayed the same: Be true to who you are, knowing the cost. How else can you worship the Creator of all being, the great 'I am,' except by being the person that God created you to be?I’ve been convinced that LGBT Christians have a special role to play in teaching the church how to be Christian.

Christians who tell each other the truth. 
Christians who confess our sins and forgive our enemies. Christians who embrace our neighbors.
 Christians who sit together in our pain, and in our healing, and wait for resurrection.

Bethel In Retrospective

Worship is beholding him. Its choosing awareness of His presence — when the angels see him they fall and cry holy. Its the natural response.

What would it look like if we stopped looking for what God is doing or where he is in it all, and instead chose to rest in His presence, the knowing that He’s there. He IS. His heart is always for us, celebrating our victories and comforting us in our loss.

Last year, my testimony looked a little different. It was rooted in what God had done and was doing — and the fruit from that in my life was incredible! This year I learned that the splendor of Heaven is less about what God’s done and more about who he is, who he’s been, who he’ll be.

I’ve undergone radical growth and change since I came here two years ago that anyone who knew me before, doesn’t recognize the person they encounter now in the best way.

I’d spent the vast majority of my life being celebrated for all the things I did and as a result I developed a value system around what I could do for people, how I could please them, what I could do to gain their approval but I didn’t feel much value for who I was.

Coming to Bethel was different. In coming here, the Lord asked me to lay down all the things I’d used to self identify — my career, the approval of my parents and community, traditional education. I was asked to resign from the youth pastor position I held, and to top it all off the month before school started, I opened my mouth to sing and nothing came out. Coming to Bethel, my SAT score didn’t matter, my scholarships, my grades — none of it.

And I remember being terrified. On one hand, I was tired of living up to other people’s whims and expectations, but on the other I was sure that this community wouldn’t have a value for me without any of my talent — that I’d be alone and unliked. And to my surprise I was celebrated over, and over, and over again for no other reason but that I existed. Love is not based on the performance of the receiver, but on the character of the giver. Feeling that I belonged completely wrecked any value I had for fitting in.

Finding my value in who I was and not what I could do released me into so much freedom. I’ve learned to be afraid and do it anyway. To say or sing the things that make your voice quiver. To dance with the Lord — even when EVERYONE is watching. I’ve learned that courage is a choice, and boldness is an action, and that as much as I might sometimes want to back into my comfort zone, we have a comforter for a reason. I've learned that defeating fear is not the absence of anxiety but the presence of boldness so I choose.

I choose to run towards all the things that make my knees shake instead of away from them.

That kind of honor perspective-altering. I realized that I’d applied the faulty value system in my heart that I’d measured myself against to God as well. I spent the entire year declaring God was good because of what He had done, which was incredible and I was grateful, but this year I had a different choice. It wasn’t always easy, and I didn’t always succeed but I chose to celebrate God’s presence in spite of how things might look around me and I realized something — the testimony looked different, but it was still the same. God was still good. God was still faithful. His goodness and character were not defined by my situation.

There’s so much more rest in the revelation of Him simply being ever-present with us through it all. I don't have to always figure it all out. These days i think i'm ok with not knowing as much while leaning back a bit more and enjoying the ride. I figure if I do that then one day i'll look up and find that we all will have simply arrived, just where we need to be.

As Ben and Kelly’s song goes, “to see Him in His glory and to know He’s in our midst. to see him in His glory and know His love exists.” Lauren Brownlee loves to say, “Is this the life I chose?” I want to congratulate all of you for the choices you made this year together. The choice to behold him — to never let the wonder get away. To choose to take courage as our portion as sons and daughters, and run towards the dreams in our hearts that scare us. To be surrounded by an army of revivalists who run beside us, championing our every step as we bring heaven to earth. Telling us that we are the brave, the worthy, the conquerors and our hope is ever—present even when we can’t see Him, we know He is on the horizon. This is a life worth choosing. The past two years have been my honor.

Bless you.

I love Jesus! I love even his seemingly mundane life choices - there's so much intention and purpose in each one. I love how he chose to plan ahead; how he found a dozen people he just met, said "Hey I like you, you seem cool. So what are you doing for the rest of your life? Want to hang out?" I love that Jesus asks me the same thing. Yes, Jesus! Always yes! Here's to a lifetime of new adventures!

and with grace and much perseverance He started to believe in himself and so it became the year where everything changed

we agreed to love each other madly
but I didn’t see it driving us insane
we believed the grey skies, storm clouds were always passing
i wish you’d danced with me in the rain

"People are going to think what they want, I let them. You can’t control perception, It’s a losing game so I don’t play. I let them lose. Lose themselves in their own fantasies of what they want me to be. A rebel, an angel, a romantic, a heart breaker, a child, a man. Perhaps I’m all of these things. Perhaps I’m none. But what I am is for me to find out. It’s for me to know."

The poems are inside youThey are swimming in your belly Climbing up your throat Slowly now Can you feel them? Breathe deep. Swallow the pain. It will give them strength for their climb. The wounds are deep and will leave wide scars But the deeper the wounds the more powerful the art And while I’m not sure that it will make you stronger Whatever doesn’t kill you will definitely give me something to say Say it.

We are writers made of ink and page

formed of pen and paper

those who never settle for the path laid out

but make their own

those who face the world with a declaration of themselves

without fear

we are those who

give the world hope We create the most powerful

weapons

tools

and truths

It is we the world needs We are writers

a living, dying breed

we see and don’t see

we write and that is

what matters

a pen for a sword

a page for a shield

a mind for a world We are writers,

we forge our own

we are us

we are words

Come and see

You tell me, baby cousinthat things, seem hopeless. I know, and if I could, I would cocoon your caterpillar body into my arms and siphon off all the pain until wings began to grow in its place and you, were ready to fly, but I am too far away.

So instead I am writing you a poem. making paper chains with my words to wrap you up and eventually, if I write enough, they may keep you warm. And maybe,when you hear the word "no” stinging your face like a sleet storm in the middle of what the weatherman said should've been a springtime day, you'll remember this poem.

when people give you cold shoulders and When life, gives you cold nights; when you want to take its icicle handouts and hang like stalicites or break off the stalicites in your hand and pierce the fledgling beginnings of ambition blossoming from your chest, please choose life.

The word “can’t” seems stuck on your tongue but all I see is possibility, it's gift wrapped in beautiful packaging even if it's unassuming, and unexpected. I've learned this from you.

You who choose to affirm people at their worst - even though you are completely unsure about your faith journey. But maybe, you know more about faith than me because well, faith is defined as belief in what we cannot see, and there are days when my self hatred blots out any good inside like dark storm clouds covering the sun, days, it would seem to be no silver lining in the seams and you still choose to believe in me.

And on the days you feel like you’ve run out of strength to believe, I still pray over your heart daily, that it stay as tender as a child's who has never experienced heartbreak. I harbor no regrets. One of my favorite poets said that it hurts to become - and that may be, but just like you believe In me, there are a few things I have full confidence in...

Number one, in the beginning God spoke - everything. Number two, this world has turned into a horrible place since then, but if this world was created by words then your words can change it. I've heard them. Number three. You. that one day, you will shine brighter than all the stars stretched across the skies of time, entire worlds will exist in your orbit, and you, will fill them with light.

So if it must hurt to become, then I hope each bit of pain enlargens your heart like a mother giving birth. That what you create will enrapture you with such joy that you will look down at your creation, cradle it in your arms, thinking every contraction was worth it and realize you are in love.

But for now, love, breathe easy. Drop the icy dagger you have pointed at your hopes and dreams. Let it melt away at this poem's feet as you crawl into the warmth of my words and sleep. You can do anything. It hurts, I know. It's because you're becoming. And this isn't hopelessness you're feeling, you're growing wings.

Just a reminder that ideologies along the lines of "I don't see color." doesn't qualify you as being racially forward or progressive and comments like "I don't even see you as black." aren't compliments as much as they are passive attempts at erasure.